Company Training Day

Today was company training day... it happens once a month. Basically, the idea is that come hell or high water, everybody in the company should show up and participate in some training... ideally solidifying their knowledge or adding to their already vast toolbelt of skills and techniques. There were seven of us...

Prior to the actual training, Quartermaster Keith informed me that I was going to get my gear. That was good news because 1.) I am a poser, and gear makes me look like the real thing and 2.) If I ever actually get into a fire, gear will protect me from getting hurt.

I would love to go into detail about the gear-getting process, but it was pretty uneventful. The shed that holds the gear looks like the aftermath of an explosion in a garment factory... with boots, helmets and jackets askew, but other than that, Keith just gave me my shit.

Everything was pretty new except for the mask. That being the case, I proceeded to give it a good thorough washing in the kitchen. One of the other redhats, a girl named [Katie (Have I already used Katie? Fuck it, if so, this is Katie II)], approached me with a look of curiousity and condescension and asked,

"Why are you washing your mask?"

I replied "Uh, because somebody else's mug was snugly ensconced in this thing while breathing, panting, expectorating, talking, sneezing, coughing, masticating, blubbering, sniffing, producing boogie-snots... and all other manner of ickiness. I just thought maybe I'd wash it out, otherwise I might as well go find the prior owner and give him or her a good tongue-bath."

Katie II said, "Huh, never occurred to me to do that."

I am gonna leave that out there for a minute to sink in....
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Moving on.

The low turnout for company training actually worked in my favor because it allowed me to actually do something, because even with 7 guys we had a lot of standing around going on. We essentially unloaded about 70 things off the engine... placed them on or around an upside-down car, and explored ways to stabilize said car. I got to see how the various implements were used; air bags, air shores ("No, we don't use air in the air shores idiot... not unless it's an enclosed extrication with no radiant heat, where the proximity to water is less than 90 feet, it's a calm day, and there are no victims under the age of 20 or over 80, and the radio is off. Fucking newbies... don't know shit."), cribbing, chains, sledges and yes, the Halligen bar.

With all the equipment called for, I was expecting to cut, break, flip, burn, or do something violent. What we actually did was lift the car 2 inches, and set back down. Lift 2 inches, set back down. At one point, the stack of cribbing (two 4x4's, placed 18 inches apart, then another pair placed perpendicular on top of those two, and so on until the proper height is reached) had the top pair of 4x4's in the wrong place.

I said, "Hey, let's just turn the stack 90 degrees, then the top pair will be parallel with the car, achieving the desired effect." (No, I do not really talk like this, my language is cleaned up to underscore - by means of contrast - my next point.)

The guy next to me said, "Naw, that shit won't work - ya gotta pivot it." He then proceeded to turn the pile 90 degrees until the top pair was parallel with the car, achieving the desired effect.
I can only assume it was the dual geometry references that threw him.

The evening came to a close with us putting all of the stuff back in the van and the Chief debriefing us on the training. Prior to debriefing, he put a scooby snack (chew,dip,chaw,snuff) in his lip that had both the size and general demeanor of a burrowing varmit; it managed to stay in for the entirety of the conversation, but it was touch-and-go there for a bit.

Chief - "Any questions on what we just accomplished?"
Me - "Uh, so, we spent a lot of time make the car stable... but, wouldn't we be moving a lot quicker if there was somebody hurt inside? I mean, we wouldn't be stablizing the car otherwise, right?"
Chief - "It's not your emergency" (I believe I mentioned in a prior post that this would come up again)
Me - "Right, but..."
Chief - "It's not your emergency"
Me - "B..."
Chief - "Are you done?"
Me - "Yes"

Truck packed, gear doffed, crew dispersed, I headed home, making a mental note to just slow down and keep my head in the game. Also, if I ever found myself trapped in an overturned car to start foraging for food between the car seats... because I might be there awhile.